(NEW YORK) -- The found footage horror flick As Above/So Below revolves around Scarlet (Perdita Weeks), an archeologist of sorts who speaks multiple languages -- two of them dead -- and is a black belt in Krav Maga. Totally believable, right? Scarlet's immediate goal in life is to fulfill her late father’s quest to find the Philosopher’s Stone, and she won’t let anything stop her...not even a silly thing like death.
When Scarlet discovers that the stone may be hidden in the catacombs of Paris, she recruits a team to accompany her on her underground descent, including a few people who know their way around the place. There, they encounter human remains, a guy who used to live in the catacombs but who disappeared two years ago, plenty of sudden, loud noises, and dozens of other obvious signs that they should leave before they all come to a horrible and violent end.
Then, there’s the most disturbing sign something is amiss: objects and people from each member of the team's past begin to pop up. There’s a spooky piano, an even spookier dead brother and a burning car from an accident. All of this, mind you, is taking place nearly a thousand feet under the streets of Paris. Yes, it’s pretty creepy, but perhaps no more creepy than riding that New York City subway line you recently found out is infested with bedbugs.
Like so many horror films, the decisions made by these characters are preposterous -- nearly as preposterous as the notion that you are watching found footage from a camera that was left behind with no hope of ever getting it back. I’m beginning to think it’s called “found" footage because people FIND it annoying. There’s nothing new here; aside from a couple of claustrophobic and aurally frightening moments, As Above/So Below is more boring than it is scary.
Two out of five stars.
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