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Tuesday
Jan282014

Married But Sleeping Apart to ‘Protect Each Other’s Solitude’

TrentVino/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- Arianne Cohen and her husband, Nate, have been married for one and a half years, and sleep in separate rooms.

The couple says having their separate spaces has brought them closer together.

They’re apart for about half the week, and use that alone time to sleep better and indulge in hobbies that might be annoying to the other spouse.

“She likes to read.  And then she likes to talk about what she’s reading,” Nate Cohen said of his wife.  “So, that’s wonderful until I’m ready to sleep…”

As for her husband’s guitar playing, Arianne Cohen said early on in their marriage she was “down with that.”

Sleeping apart may seem like an unusual idea among married couples, but it’s apparently more common than people might think. Couples often have different sleeping habits and preferences -- like room temperature, watching TV in the bedroom or when to turn the lights off -- and disagreements over these habits can cause problems.

Wendy O’Connor, a marriage and family therapist, said more than half of all married couples sleep separately.

The couples may sleep apart, but they do have date nights in each other’s rooms.

“You just want to keep checking in and say how’s this going for you...open communication, that is the main goal,” O’Connor said of the arrangement.

Arianne Cohen calls her brightly painted room her happy place.  For her husband, his room, located one floor away from hers, is his own private sanctuary.

“My room is very, kind of, aggressively happy,” Arianne Cohen said, “and Nate’s room is a little bit more his style.”

He says he loves the idea that they love each other so much that they “protect each other’s solitude.”

The Cohens don’t have any plans to change their routine. They say as long as they sleep apart, they’ll remain happy together.

Copyright 2014 ABC New Radio