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Entries in Dating (24)

Wednesday
Jan302013

Watching the Super Bowl Is a Bad Idea for a First Date, Survey Says

Jupiterimages/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- Millions of people gather at Super Bowl parties to watch “The Big Game,” but a new survey shows a majority of singles say they would never bring a “first date” to a Super Bowl bash.

A survey conducted by the dating service Just Lunch finds 53 percent of singles answering no when asked, “Would you bring a ‘first date’ to a Super Bowl party?”  When broken down by gender, 54 percent of single women and 50 percent of guys were against the idea.

“The Super Bowl makes a lousy first date because you’re paying more attention to the TV set than the person you’re with,” says Irene LaCota, a spokesperson for Just Lunch.

But for people who have been dating for a while, a Super Bowl party seems to be a good idea.  Eighty-eight percent of men and 75 percent of women responded positively to watching the game together.

The survey did find 21 percent of female respondents admitting that they watch the game with their dates, but it’s not their favorite thing to do.

There was sharp disagreement between the genders when asked where they would rather watch the big game.   Fifty-three percent of women would rather attend a Super Bowl party, compared to 38 percent of the men.

Watching the game at home was the first choice of 53 percent of the guys and 32 percent of the ladies.

Fifteen percent of women and 9 percent of men prefer to watch the Super Bowl at a sports bar.

Despite all the interest in the Super Bowl by members of both sexes, the survey finds that watching a football game, either on TV or in person, produces very low odds of meeting someone you’d like to date.  Just 5 percent of the male respondents and 6 percent of the ladies replied “yes” when asked, “Have you ever dated someone you met while watching a football game or at a Super Bowl party?”

The Just Lunch survey involved more than 600 online responses.

Copyright 2013 ABC News Radio

Friday
Dec072012

Relationship Ranch: Horses Help Couples Heal Broken Hearts

Horses are being used in an unconventional form of couples counseling at a Colorado ranch. (ABC News)(LOUISVILLE, Colo.) -- It's fascinating to watch a man trying to win back the love of his life by talking to a horse.

Horse therapy has been used for decades to help treat people with physical disabilities or learning disorders, but now they are also being used in an unconventional form of couples counseling.

Nancy Hamilton and Lottie Grimes are marriage therapists who run Relationship Ranch in Louisville, Colo. They are convinced that horses can help feuding couples make peace.

"You wouldn't think they would have any role in marriage therapy," Hamilton said. "But because horses are so exquisitely sensitive, they can help us determine what a couple is actually, really feeling."

For three weekends, "Nightline" followed one couple's last-ditch effort to save their crumbling relationship and attended their equine therapy sessions.

Justin and Lyz, both 30 and never married, have been together for nine years and have two sons. But lately, they said, the bickering and fighting at home got so bad that Justin reluctantly agreed to move out.

"We have piled problem on top of problem on top of problem for years," Lyz said. "Who knows what's at the bottom of that?"

Although he was skeptical about the healing powers of horses, he said he was willing to try just about anything to make his family whole again.

On their first day of therapy, the couple was introduced to the ranch's herd of horses. Justin was magnetically drawn to the newest and most aggressive horse, Danny, who came to the ranch after surviving a grizzly bear attack. Danny wasn't fitting in with the other horses, which hit home for Justin, who felt exiled from his own herd. Hamilton said horses can sense and read people's emotions.

"They're almost like a Rorschach projective test with a mane and a tail, where people can project onto them their feelings, their thoughts and their fears," she said.

Hamilton said she believes those fears can stem from what she called unresolved childhood wounds, which plague adult relationships. That was the case with Justin. When he was 9-years-old, his sister was brutally murdered by an ex-boyfriend and young Justin saw the murder scene.

"He chased her down and cut her throat," he said. "We went back several days later and they hadn't cleaned anything up."

After working with Justin and Lyz, Hamilton said Lyz saw Justin as controlling, but those tendencies are rooted in his childhood trauma.

"Trauma survivors are very concerned with being able to control their present environment because they were not able to control their environment when they were traumatized," she said.

Hamilton had Justin go through a blind trust exercise with Danny to force Justin to surrender control to his partner. The goal was to expose Justin's old wounds. Hamilton instructed him to talk to Danny about what had happened when his sister was killed. Danny, the trauma-surviving horse, set the stage for a major breakthrough.

"It seemed so stupid at first, and then it was actually helpful," Justin said. "Therapeutic."

Watching Justin talk to the horse, Lyz said she never saw him so vulnerable. After the session, the two apologized for hurting each other.

Two weeks later, Justin went through a final exercise to fully cope with his past. In a pen, surrounded by the herd, Justin became 9-years-old-again. He was instructed to confront his absent father through a role-playing exercise, while Lyz acted as a stand-in for his dad.

"You abandoned all of us," he said aloud. "I had to be the man of the family and I think that you're a coward."

During a crucial and emotional moment, Danny, the horse, seemed to sense that his new friend needed him, and he put his head into Justin's hands. Then, in a rare sign of trust, some of the other horses lay down behind Justin, while others joined him by his side.

"That was the big 'ah-ha' moment for Lyz," Hamilton said. "She said, 'Justin, I realize that I am abandoning you over and over again just like your dad did.'"

At that point, Hamilton told the couple to re-commit to each other exclusively. Suddenly, the horses started kicking and running. Hamilton said she believes they were reacting to Lyz's fear of commitment and Justin's fear of abandonment.

For now, the future of Justin and Lyz's relationship is still uncertain. Lyz said she needed more time to decide whether to continue the relationship. They haven't solved all of their problems, but at least for now, they have found some guidance for the long road ahead.

"If you truly want help you're going to do whatever it takes to get that, even if it's talking to a horse," Justin said.

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Tuesday
Sep042012

With Less Stigma, More Dwarfs Date Average-Size Partners

Courtesy Julie Genovese(NEW YORK) -- Julie Genovese is a little person in a large world that some say can look down on people with dwarfism.

Growing up in New Jersey, Genovese said she endured bullies and stares, and was even submitted to humiliating medical exams that made her feel insignificant and devalued.

And forget about dating.

"In high school, I was pretty much afraid of boys," said Genovese, now 49.  "I had this deep-seated belief that I couldn't be lovable."

She was terrified she would never find happiness.  But Genovese, who is 4-feet 3-inches tall, now enjoys a long and happy marriage with Bill, who is 5-foot-6.  The couple has two average-sized children.

The world of little people has historically held a deep-rooted distrust for taller people -- and rightly so.  Society has relegated dwarfs to circus side-shows and comedy, treating them as if they were subhuman.

But the bias worked both ways.  In the past, many little people frowned on dating averaged-sized people, sometimes fearing that those with sexual fetishes would exploit them.

But now, "attitudes have changed," according to the Little People of America (LPA), an organization that provides support for those with more than 200 forms of dwarfism.

"I'd say about 50-50 are in relationships with average-sized people," said LPA's Leah Smith, vice president of public relations.  "The organization's executive director is married to a taller man."

Just recently, the organization launched a PSA in advance of October's Dwarfism Awareness Month with this message: "We are professionals, we are students, we are advocates," said Smith.  "We are pumping the same blood as everyone else."

In her 2010 memoir, Nothing Short of Joy, Genovese writes about her struggle with crushingly low self-esteem and depression.

"For the first 20 years I felt so cursed and just looked at my dwarfism as an albatross around my neck and had no idea I could change that with my choices and attitude," said Genovese.

But after two pivotal life events -- finding self-help books and a injury that led her to writing a memoir -- she was able to overcome the self-loathing and embrace her life with joy.

And after meeting her husband Bill at a holistic fair where they were both volunteers, Genovese realized she was "worth loving."

"My dwarfism, which I had perceived as a lifelong loss, became the most empowering teacher of my life," she said.  "What a great awakening."

With only 1 in 30,000 Americans born with dwarfism, teens are often isolated when it comes to affairs of the heart.  Genovese said there is a "protective" impulse to date others with dwarfism, whom they meet at conferences.

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Tuesday
Aug282012

Today's Technology Impacts Privacy in Our Love Lives

Jupiterimages/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- Privacy is a quaint concept but it doesn’t seem to be respected much in today’s electronic world.

Since there are unlimited ways to communicate, it also gives people an easier way to cheat on a significant other. And if that’s the case, many of those who feel they’re being two-timed say it’s perfectly acceptable to check their partner’s text messages, voicemails or emails.

Surveying 2,000 adults, the online dating service OurTime.com discovered that 37 percent of women believe it’s okay to conduct some electronic snooping if “bad behavior” is suspected, while 29 percent of guys feel the same.

What happens to be acceptable seems to vary with people’s ages. Checking another person’s texts, voicemails and emails gets the nod from 36 percent of all adults aged 18 to 34 while only 26 percent of adults over 55 approve of it.

Even more interesting is that 41 percent of the younger respondents say it’s acceptable to date more than one person at a time while over half of those older than 55 don’t see anything wrong with going out with multiple people.

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Thursday
Jun282012

‘Anti-Cheating Ring’ Vows to End Infidelity

thecheeky.com(NEW YORK) -- The wedding band is a precious, shiny symbol of marital commitment. That’s why men take them off when they want to cheat.

Thecheeky.com has designed a ring that aims to make this suspension of commitment a little harder. The Anti-Cheating Ring has a “negative engraving” on the inside that leaves the phrase “I’M MARRIED” on the finger after the ring is removed.

This might prevent cheating by: (1) reminding the would-be John Edwards of his vow and/or (2) alerting would-be Rielle Hunters that a man is married. Of course some women don’t care or are even more turned on by that. In these cases, the ring is inoperative.

Geared for stamina over looks, it is made of strengthened titanium valued at $550. Unlike a wedding vow, it comes with a lifetime guarantee.

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Wednesday
Jun272012

Relationships: Ten Things Men Should Know About Women

Brand X Pictures/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- If you're a man who hasn't figured out what makes a woman tick, you may want to heed the advice of Astroglide.

The lubricant brand has released a list of "10 Things to Know About Women" -- advice for single men, fiancés or new husbands. Some of the tips were provided by Astroglide's Twitter followers:

Here are the "10 Things to Know About Women," according to Astroglide:

  1. They want you to have your own place. If you want to be engaged but are still living at home, then you need to make some changes!
  2. Women like a man to be assertive without being a jerk. They need someone to stand up for them as an equal partner.
  3. They pay attention to what you wear and how you wear it. Backwards baseball caps, tight muscle shirts and saggy pants are out. Don't even try the black socks and sandals routine.
  4. Women don't typically want to talk with their current man about the number or certainly not the "size" of any of their past partners. Some topics are simply off limits.
  5. They like genuine questions that show their man truly cares about their well-being. Ask them about their job, friendships, and other issues and then just listen.
  6. Many women enjoy concert or dancing dates so they can see how their date's dance moves might transfer to the bedroom.
  7. Married women often need some quiet time after the kids go to bed. You don't have to talk, just let her enjoy 15 minutes of peace.
  8. Some women prefer text messages to phone calls early in a relationship.
  9. A little playful roughness is good in bed, so don't be afraid to hold on tight or move a little harder.
  10. Married women still want to feel desired, so be sure to give sincere compliments and remind her how spicy she is every day!

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Wednesday
Jun202012

Are You In Love or Lust?

iStockphoto/Thinkstock(MONTREAL) -- Is it love, or just lust? The answer, it turns out, might have to do with which part of our brain is being activated.

The study, published Wednesday in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, analyzed 20 studies related to the effects of sex and love on the body. The research included brain scans of people who viewed erotic photos, photos of their significant others, food and other pleasure triggers.

Two parts of the brain, the insula and the striatum, are responsible for tracking the way in which sexual desire develops into feelings of love, researchers said. Lust triggers parts of the brain that control pleasurable feelings, associated with sex and food, but love triggers parts of the brain associated with habits.

“We assign different language to love and sexual desire and addiction,” said Jim Pfaus, a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Montreal and lead author of the study. “But really, they’re all being processed in a similar place. When we see this, the idea of love at first sight probably isn’t true. People are feeling desire.”

The brain treats love like a habit that has been formed over time. So, after lust may come love, and those feelings of love move to different part of the brain that processes habits and reward patterns. The same brain pattern occurs when people become drug addicts.

“Habits usually get a bad reputation, but it’s an important thing that the brain imposes,” said Pfaus. “The change from desire to love is the bonding mechanism in relationships.”

These brain mechanisms involve monogamy and connection in a variety of different kinds of relationships, experts said. It activates the need to defend the interests of one’s children or lover, Pfaus said.

“So, really, drug addiction is an embellished expression of something perfectly normal,” said Pfaus.

Pfaus said the research acts as a cornerstone for other research on the subject.

“This research speaks to evolution,” said Pfaus. “And it could help understand addiction, love and other social neuroscience research.”

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Wednesday
May302012

People More Open-Minded About Open Relationships  

Hemera/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- Americans' attitudes about sex and what makes up cheating and betrayal have certainly changed from the days when television programs were forbidden to show married people sleeping in the same bed.
 
Bad Online Dates, which encourages people to commiserate about their lousy dates, conducted a survey of hundreds of users to get an idea of what they consider the modern definition of infidelity.
 
For instance, 97 percent of respondents felt that watching pornography online does not constitute cheating.
 
For that matter, just under five percent think someone using a blow-up doll for sex when they’re involved with another person is being unfaithful.
 
Meanwhile, about one in seven say it’s okay if their best friend was sleeping with a married man or woman although six in ten would not tell their partner about having sex with a hotel bartender.
 
Still, 31 percent believe that cheating on a significant other is okay sometimes.
 
As for the subject of monogamy, two-thirds of the respondents believe people were not born to be with one just person and as proof of that, close to eight in ten would be open to idea of a threesome.

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Thursday
May172012

Improve Significant Other’s Listening Skills with a Vitamin?

Cultura/Getty Images(NEW YORK) -- A new survey shows 63 percent of Americans take a vitamin or supplement, but many wish the manufacturers would come up with a vitamin that would improve their significant other’s listening skills.

A survey commissioned by The Vitamin Shoppe finds 50 percent of respondents wish there was a pill that could improve their partner’s listening.  Forty-three percent wish there was a vitamin that would improve their significant other’s cleaning skills, while 31 percent expressed a desire for a vitamin that would improve their partner’s “bedroom” skills.

Respondents were asked: “If your significant other could take a vitamin to improve upon any of the following areas, which would you choose?

  • Listening, 50 percent
  • Cleaning, 43 percent
  • Physique, 37 percent
  • Cooking, 35 percent
  • “Bedroom” Skills, 31 percent
  • Dancing, 24 percent
  • Don’t know/Refused, 20 percent


Additional findings from The Vitamin Shoppe survey:

  • 93 percent of Americans feel more confident about their health when taking a vitamin or supplement.
  • 72 percent of respondents take multivitamins on a regular basis.
  • 56 percent believe vitamins and supplements are necessary to achieve your health and fitness goals.


Respondents were also asked: “What would put you in a better mood – good sex or a good workout?

  • Good sex, 57 percent
  • Good workout, 35 percent
  • Don’t know/Refused, 8 percent


The Vitamin Shoppe survey of 1,000 U.S. adults was conducted by Wakefield Research.

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio

Tuesday
May152012

New Technology Makes Dating Tougher for Men, Survey Finds

Hemera/Thinkstock(NEW YORK) -- Dating used to be so simple for men.  All they had to do was figure out something to say and get the courage to call their intended date on the phone.

But that's not the case anymore.  TSB magazine says what ties guys up in knots these days is what to say in a text when seeking a date.  In fact, a third of the men in the TSB survey admitted that coming up with the right text message frustrated them the most in trying to ask a woman out.

Next on the list of what gives men sweaty palms in today’s dating scene is carrying on an interesting conversation with a pretty girl they recently met.  Twenty-two percent said this was their biggest concern, while 12 percent in the TSB poll had qualms about simply approaching a woman they’ve had their eye on.

Then there’s that moment about whether or not it’s appropriate to end a first date with a kiss.  Eighteen percent say that's their biggest dating fear.

Other anxieties included 10 percent with the fear of women seeing them more as a friend than a love interest, and 6 percent worried about "hitting it off with a woman only to have her shift her interest to someone else."

Copyright 2012 ABC News Radio







ABC News Radio