Kelly Clarkson Says After "American Idol," She "Almost Quit [Music] a Dozen Times"

Kevin Mazur/WireImage via ABCParticipating in, and then winning, American Idol should've been the happiest moment of Kelly Clarkson's life, but in a new interview with Redbook magazine, she reveals she was really miserable during that time, and she continued to be miserable during the whole first part of her career.  In fact, she says she almost gave up on being a singer.

Recalling her time during and after Idol, Kelly tells Redbook, "I’m going to be completely honest -- I had no one looking out for me. They were looking out for the show, and it was horrible."  She adds, "I was 19 years old. I was smart enough to know that it wasn’t about me, but that didn’t make it any easier. I’m all cried out about it, but my first four years, I hated my life; I almost quit a dozen times." 

Kelly says that her bad experience back then is why she's so eager now to mentor up-and-coming talent on her new ABC show, Duets, and give them the help she never received.

Of course now, with many hits, millions of album sales and several big awards under her belt, Kelly's much happier in her career, and her personal life has never been better thanks to boyfriend Brandon Blackstock.  She tells Redbook, "I told my assistant...'Where's that kick in the ass? I’m just waiting for something to blow up.' She said, 'No, that’s what happiness is.' I’m like, maybe I’ve never been happy! Because Brandon does, he makes me happy."

In the July Redbook cover story, Kelly also talks about her recent weight loss, which she achieved through cardio, running and strength training.  "Really, what I try to instill in my fans is to be healthy and happy. I have no desire to be super-skinny," she says.

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